please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
