He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
