I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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