Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
