my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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