Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize