This is not my ceiling
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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