is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
