you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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