So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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