she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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