Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
