my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
