she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
