ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
