yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
