I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
