I just saw a hot homeless man
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
