So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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