I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
