one might say we're banned from that church
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
