That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
