Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
