it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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