they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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