make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
