you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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