Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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