careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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