Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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