you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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