What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
