check it out our google latitudes are spooning
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
