Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
soo... how was my night?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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