Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
