I hate your face
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
