I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
