I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
