hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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