I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
