Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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