he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She told me I should be a condom model.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
