I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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