Fine. I'll sleep in my office
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
