do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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