I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
