My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
