Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
