miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
