Dual....:-)
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize