Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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