"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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