Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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