fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize