I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
