He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
