I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
we should paint friendship bongs
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