she pinky promised me she was 18
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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