You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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