My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
