I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
