What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
