Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
