At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize