Screwed.edu
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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