just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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